I'm not very good at keeping this blogging thing up, am I? Believe it or not there was a time way back when I used to post in my blog every single day without fail for a whole year (after that year I eased up a bit and went to a post every second day or third... and then grew increasingly infrequent). That was some crazy dedication. Of course I was a lot younger with a lot more blab in me. Most of the posts were about my day at school and shit like that but they still always managed to be very long. Usually averaging a whole word document page. I think what made me give up on the every day thing was my self-irritating tendency to NEED to include everything. I just wouldn't feel right or wouldn't feel comfortable if I left stuff out (which is probably one of my anxiety/OCD problems). So in the end, I just really felt like posting was a burden since it left me with a feeling of unease if I left stuff out.... yet if I didn't it would take me around an hour or more to post it all.
Of course, it made for good documenting. I go back and read it fairly often. There's enough posts that I can go to a random date every once in a while and read a post that I'd completely forgotten about: read about my the days I had, the feelings I had (some stupid teenage feelings indeed), etc etc. But anyways, that's why I don't really do much about my day any more. Not to mention that to anyone who is not me, my day is probably of no interest to them. I feel like it was a very good exercise though; I learned a lot in working on that blog. It really did help to develop a writing style for myself and as I go through the posts I can really see the changes in my writing. The first post was completely colloquial then the later posts turned a lot more... literature-like. Since then I've let a lot of colloquial language come back in... but it's amazing looking back at some of my posts written when I was 14; they almost read like an adult wrote them. I'd recommend any aspiring writer to try doing blogging to be honest. It keeps you writing... writing anything at all. In fact, a lot of authors recommend writing anything just regularly to keep in practice.
This isn't what I came here to write about at all. But then the first line just completely distracted me. I guess that's one thing I do love about blogging. Other people may read it but in the end it's for you. You can write about whatever the heck comes to your mind there and then.
Going completely off topic but... packing. Oh dear god packing. I don't even know where to start =/. I've leaving for school on September 3rd, all the way to Kingston, Ontario. So I need to pack but what in the world do I bring? I brought tons of shit last time and a lot of it I never even needed or used. Like I had a box full of books and shit. Never had time to read them. On the other hand I discovered that I hadn't brought enough clothes and shoes. I brought a shit ton of jewelry but never really used them because I'm the weird type of person who always just keeps on the same ones and don't exchange them often. You'd think with all this knowledge it'd be easier but no... Not really. Listing stuff off in my head it seems like I'm not going to take that much at all but I just know that by the time it comes to packing, I'm going to be shoving shit in in every nook and cranny I can find. Remind me why I decided to go so far again? Ugh.
Monday, 29 August 2011
Monday, 1 August 2011
Worse Is Better
I'm curious to know whether there has ever been a time where better was better. I know, better is always better. So, what AM I talking about? Complaints. Better is never better between complainers. I won't really go into complainers themselves as everyone has some sort of gripe about complainers and being one myself it would be rather hypocritical. We can, however, look into one of the most common complainer's syndrome: Worse is better.
I noticed this very early on in my life that worse seems to always be better when taking part in a complainer's conversation. There's almost a sort of pride about it too. Before we get into that however, let's explain what exactly I mean by "worse is better." I'll simply record my earliest memory of an encounter with this syndrome and that should be self-explanatory. It's elementary school grade 4. I'm in the girl change room as everyone is getting changed into their gym clothes. The little girls are whining about having to partake in physical activity so early in the morning and inevitably comes the first complaint of, "Ugh I'm SO tired. I only had six hours of sleep last night." Immediately they are countered with, "Yeah? Well, I only got four hours." Then another boasts, "Well I didn't sleep at all!" Likely story... but that's beside the point. Boast. It's the perfect word to describe this syndrome. People like to boast when complaining of having the worse situation!
It is as if having the worst situation gives them the right to complain. All others have lost their right to complain as there's someone in their midst who has "suffered worse." I think there are a variety of people with this syndrome and it's not triggered by the same thing with everyone. Some people want the sympathy, some people want the spotlight, and some people are just reminded at that time that they have a similar and maybe worse situation and now would be a good time to complain about it. The last one is a common denominator of any group of complainers. The reason I don't deem it the primary reason for this syndrome is that the syndrome has a gradation.
"Worse is better" most often works from least to most. Somehow it's not the kid who got "no sleep at all" who pipes up first, it's the kid who got six hours.... and then the four hours, then finally the no sleep kid. Wouldn't you think that the person with the worst would be the first to speak up as they're "suffering" through the worst of it? I guess the only explanation is the comment I made earlier: "likely story." Stretching the truth. Those kids probably all got around 6 - 7 hours of sleep if not more. They just want to complain! And why do they want to complain? Refer to the list I gave earlier of the syndrome triggers: sympathy and attention. It's rather interesting the lengths people go to for those two things.
I speak a bit derisively of the people who have the "worse is better" syndrome but I have to admit that sometimes I fall victim to it too. It's hard to resist pitching in with the complaints when people around you are bleating theirs. Being a fairly big complainer myself I find it especially hard. That is why I have such respect for people who can sympathize or empathize and stop there. You know, the people who listen and show they understand your "suffering" and try to make you feel better with positive comments or what not. Or maybe you don't know... those people are hard to come by.
I noticed this very early on in my life that worse seems to always be better when taking part in a complainer's conversation. There's almost a sort of pride about it too. Before we get into that however, let's explain what exactly I mean by "worse is better." I'll simply record my earliest memory of an encounter with this syndrome and that should be self-explanatory. It's elementary school grade 4. I'm in the girl change room as everyone is getting changed into their gym clothes. The little girls are whining about having to partake in physical activity so early in the morning and inevitably comes the first complaint of, "Ugh I'm SO tired. I only had six hours of sleep last night." Immediately they are countered with, "Yeah? Well, I only got four hours." Then another boasts, "Well I didn't sleep at all!" Likely story... but that's beside the point. Boast. It's the perfect word to describe this syndrome. People like to boast when complaining of having the worse situation!
It is as if having the worst situation gives them the right to complain. All others have lost their right to complain as there's someone in their midst who has "suffered worse." I think there are a variety of people with this syndrome and it's not triggered by the same thing with everyone. Some people want the sympathy, some people want the spotlight, and some people are just reminded at that time that they have a similar and maybe worse situation and now would be a good time to complain about it. The last one is a common denominator of any group of complainers. The reason I don't deem it the primary reason for this syndrome is that the syndrome has a gradation.
"Worse is better" most often works from least to most. Somehow it's not the kid who got "no sleep at all" who pipes up first, it's the kid who got six hours.... and then the four hours, then finally the no sleep kid. Wouldn't you think that the person with the worst would be the first to speak up as they're "suffering" through the worst of it? I guess the only explanation is the comment I made earlier: "likely story." Stretching the truth. Those kids probably all got around 6 - 7 hours of sleep if not more. They just want to complain! And why do they want to complain? Refer to the list I gave earlier of the syndrome triggers: sympathy and attention. It's rather interesting the lengths people go to for those two things.
I speak a bit derisively of the people who have the "worse is better" syndrome but I have to admit that sometimes I fall victim to it too. It's hard to resist pitching in with the complaints when people around you are bleating theirs. Being a fairly big complainer myself I find it especially hard. That is why I have such respect for people who can sympathize or empathize and stop there. You know, the people who listen and show they understand your "suffering" and try to make you feel better with positive comments or what not. Or maybe you don't know... those people are hard to come by.
Saturday, 9 July 2011
Acupuncture
I've been getting acupuncture treatment lately and I've got to say: it is one of the weirdest medicinal practices out there. Some people are inclined to think that acupuncture does not work and is just a bunch of Asian hocus-pocus mumbo-jumbo; however, my acupuncturist pointed out that if it really was a bunch of shit then it would have died out a long time ago. As it stands, acupuncture goes back a very very long time (the specifics of which I am not too bothered about as to wikipedia it).
This acupuncturist is actually a church friend of my mother's (this church is entirely Korean by the way). She often holds church meetings in our house (with tons of bratty kids who come with these church fellows but that is another story all together) and he and his wife come over often as well. I'm not sure when they moved here but apparently (I learned later) business has been going poorly what with the economy and all and he had loads of debt from the immigration. Now I'm sure westerners born and bred here wouldn't know this first hand but I'm sure they can still understand how very difficult it is to come to a new country, where your mastery of the language is just passable, and to make a living there. One can also imagine just how expensive it all is. This burden is one that all these Korean immigrants can relate to and so create a common ground upon which people can bond other than the fact that they're from the same country (which in and of itself is a strong "bonder" for Koreans anyways, harboring, as they do, very strong nationalistic qualities).
My parents held not only this bond and the "church fellow" bond with this acupuncturist but also held his skills in high respect as problems they had been suffering from for so long started to dissipate. My aunt was over couple months ago and she in very poor health... with treatment from this acupuncturist though she went home feeling much better. This guy had a level of skill that was very rarely seen. Thus impressed my mother decided that he was deserving of some advertising and started spouting off recommendations to everyone she knew. Somehow, while I wasn't looking, my mother had turned into a socialite and had tons of people to recommend his services to. Thanks to my mother's fervent advertising to all of her friends and their family, his business is now booming and he's busier than he's ever been. Which I think he thoroughly deserves.
I didn't really mean to linger on the above story so much but hey, I did warn that my posts are rather long (and often needlessly so) at the beginning of this blog. Anyways, that is how I came to be treated by this doctor for free. Yep. Free. Not only that but my parents both still are regular paying customers so I guess he figured that between the two set of circumstances he'd treat me for free. I can't say that I particularly LIKE to go and get needles jabbed in me... but I can certainly see that it is doing me a load of good.
I had horrible back pain and shoulder pain. When I lay in bed at night I have trouble lying on my back because this dull/numbing pain starts to grow right on my spine and I'm forced to turn to my side. It's not gone away entirely (I've been plagued by it much too long for couple weeks of treatment to chase it away) but it's certainly gotten better, so much so that some nights it doesn't hurt anymore. My lower back pain has greatly reduced and my mood has much elevated. The eczema I get on my face after washing it with plain soap (I've been forced to use Cetaphil – a very very gentle cleanser) has disappeared as well. My parents both exclaim at how colour has been restored to my skin. Apparently I used to sport a rather grey-ish ill-looking pallor on my face which has now been replaced with a healthy sort of glow. Not only is it acupuncture but I'm also drinking a medicinal tea which is supposed to work along with the acupuncture. I think stuff like muscle pain easing I can greatly attribute to the needles and the other stuff to the medicinal tea, though I do still believe they intertwine somewhat.
Though one might think that because he is treating me for the pains in my back, he would stick the needles there. Not at all. He attributes the problems I have with my body on my general lack of Chi. Though I didn't quite put it in those terms I've always somewhat known that. I'm a runt. My body is weak. The needles he puts on my arms and legs/feet are for energy, the six needles he puts just above my left knee are for my heart, the one he puts in the crease of my nose on my right side is for my mood energy. It goes on and I can't remember all of it. Especially as he goes through them in Korean and my proficiency is not so great as to really store the information received in that language very well. Oh and apparently, the ankles are crucial to your shoulders. Who would have thought? But he spends a lot of time stretching out my ankles (yes this guy doesn't just do needles, he also massages where needed and stretches where needed) and when he is done he feels my shoulders and I can feel that they have softened up since before the treatment. It is quite amazing and baffling. Ankles to shoulders? Trust me, I don't get it either. But if it works, it works, right? It's not like it was a placebo effect either as the first time he didn't even tell me what stretching the ankles did.
As I've said though, this guy is really really good at acupuncture. A lot better than some other people out there. My mother goes as far as to say that he has a born gift for it. I wish I could recommend acupuncture for everyone if all acupuncturists had the skill of this guy or better (not saying he's the best in the world but at least he gets some results)... but if you do find yourself having some muscle pain, it might not be a bad idea to try out acupuncture. I know it is foreign and strange to a lot of westerners as of yet but try it, who knows what might come of it?
This acupuncturist is actually a church friend of my mother's (this church is entirely Korean by the way). She often holds church meetings in our house (with tons of bratty kids who come with these church fellows but that is another story all together) and he and his wife come over often as well. I'm not sure when they moved here but apparently (I learned later) business has been going poorly what with the economy and all and he had loads of debt from the immigration. Now I'm sure westerners born and bred here wouldn't know this first hand but I'm sure they can still understand how very difficult it is to come to a new country, where your mastery of the language is just passable, and to make a living there. One can also imagine just how expensive it all is. This burden is one that all these Korean immigrants can relate to and so create a common ground upon which people can bond other than the fact that they're from the same country (which in and of itself is a strong "bonder" for Koreans anyways, harboring, as they do, very strong nationalistic qualities).
My parents held not only this bond and the "church fellow" bond with this acupuncturist but also held his skills in high respect as problems they had been suffering from for so long started to dissipate. My aunt was over couple months ago and she in very poor health... with treatment from this acupuncturist though she went home feeling much better. This guy had a level of skill that was very rarely seen. Thus impressed my mother decided that he was deserving of some advertising and started spouting off recommendations to everyone she knew. Somehow, while I wasn't looking, my mother had turned into a socialite and had tons of people to recommend his services to. Thanks to my mother's fervent advertising to all of her friends and their family, his business is now booming and he's busier than he's ever been. Which I think he thoroughly deserves.
I didn't really mean to linger on the above story so much but hey, I did warn that my posts are rather long (and often needlessly so) at the beginning of this blog. Anyways, that is how I came to be treated by this doctor for free. Yep. Free. Not only that but my parents both still are regular paying customers so I guess he figured that between the two set of circumstances he'd treat me for free. I can't say that I particularly LIKE to go and get needles jabbed in me... but I can certainly see that it is doing me a load of good.
I had horrible back pain and shoulder pain. When I lay in bed at night I have trouble lying on my back because this dull/numbing pain starts to grow right on my spine and I'm forced to turn to my side. It's not gone away entirely (I've been plagued by it much too long for couple weeks of treatment to chase it away) but it's certainly gotten better, so much so that some nights it doesn't hurt anymore. My lower back pain has greatly reduced and my mood has much elevated. The eczema I get on my face after washing it with plain soap (I've been forced to use Cetaphil – a very very gentle cleanser) has disappeared as well. My parents both exclaim at how colour has been restored to my skin. Apparently I used to sport a rather grey-ish ill-looking pallor on my face which has now been replaced with a healthy sort of glow. Not only is it acupuncture but I'm also drinking a medicinal tea which is supposed to work along with the acupuncture. I think stuff like muscle pain easing I can greatly attribute to the needles and the other stuff to the medicinal tea, though I do still believe they intertwine somewhat.
Though one might think that because he is treating me for the pains in my back, he would stick the needles there. Not at all. He attributes the problems I have with my body on my general lack of Chi. Though I didn't quite put it in those terms I've always somewhat known that. I'm a runt. My body is weak. The needles he puts on my arms and legs/feet are for energy, the six needles he puts just above my left knee are for my heart, the one he puts in the crease of my nose on my right side is for my mood energy. It goes on and I can't remember all of it. Especially as he goes through them in Korean and my proficiency is not so great as to really store the information received in that language very well. Oh and apparently, the ankles are crucial to your shoulders. Who would have thought? But he spends a lot of time stretching out my ankles (yes this guy doesn't just do needles, he also massages where needed and stretches where needed) and when he is done he feels my shoulders and I can feel that they have softened up since before the treatment. It is quite amazing and baffling. Ankles to shoulders? Trust me, I don't get it either. But if it works, it works, right? It's not like it was a placebo effect either as the first time he didn't even tell me what stretching the ankles did.
As I've said though, this guy is really really good at acupuncture. A lot better than some other people out there. My mother goes as far as to say that he has a born gift for it. I wish I could recommend acupuncture for everyone if all acupuncturists had the skill of this guy or better (not saying he's the best in the world but at least he gets some results)... but if you do find yourself having some muscle pain, it might not be a bad idea to try out acupuncture. I know it is foreign and strange to a lot of westerners as of yet but try it, who knows what might come of it?
Friday, 24 June 2011
Hey, What Are You Up To?
The above question is one most people recognize as a conversation filler or a casual conversation food. It is mostly used between friends who are very familiar and talk often with each other. A more formal version of it does exist in the form of, "What are you working on?" usually used to ask what new projects or goals this person is working on at that point in life. Also exists "What have you been up to?" used between acquaintances who have not met for a long time. Out of the three, guess which one I don't want to hear from a random stranger.
Correct answer is obviously in the title: "Hey, what are you up to?" or "what are you doing?" Why? Because to be perfectly, completely honest... I do not have any interest in holding meaningless conversation with strangers. Holding meaningless conversation is reserved for those people whose company I enjoy. Meaningless conversation is held when you wish to have social contact with someone but lack real conversation material to initiate a conversation with them.
It's almost like one of those random parents who come and talk to you about their kid and what they're doing and how they're coming along this path called life... You don't care. Same goes for me when someone comes up to me and starts talking to me about what they did in some game or another or how the day's going for them... etc. etc. Why would I be interested in such things? I know I'm coming off really bitchy right now but when people come and talk to me about their day I need to have a connection with the person to really feel interested in it. I'm sorry, I really don't have an interest that you went 7/3/10 with Katarina last game and I don't really care for how your day's been so far either. Just the same as if I had turned around and said much the same stuff to you randomly expecting you to give an answer.
The only reason anyone would give two shits about what I've done or what's been going on in my life is because I put up a handful of videos online and have developed a persona for viewers to get familiar with. Note that the familiarity does not go the other way too. I can't feel the same familiarity with the viewer. Therefore, don't talk to me unless you have REAL conversation. One that actually requires my participation. Just saying hi? That's fine.
Correct answer is obviously in the title: "Hey, what are you up to?" or "what are you doing?" Why? Because to be perfectly, completely honest... I do not have any interest in holding meaningless conversation with strangers. Holding meaningless conversation is reserved for those people whose company I enjoy. Meaningless conversation is held when you wish to have social contact with someone but lack real conversation material to initiate a conversation with them.
It's almost like one of those random parents who come and talk to you about their kid and what they're doing and how they're coming along this path called life... You don't care. Same goes for me when someone comes up to me and starts talking to me about what they did in some game or another or how the day's going for them... etc. etc. Why would I be interested in such things? I know I'm coming off really bitchy right now but when people come and talk to me about their day I need to have a connection with the person to really feel interested in it. I'm sorry, I really don't have an interest that you went 7/3/10 with Katarina last game and I don't really care for how your day's been so far either. Just the same as if I had turned around and said much the same stuff to you randomly expecting you to give an answer.
The only reason anyone would give two shits about what I've done or what's been going on in my life is because I put up a handful of videos online and have developed a persona for viewers to get familiar with. Note that the familiarity does not go the other way too. I can't feel the same familiarity with the viewer. Therefore, don't talk to me unless you have REAL conversation. One that actually requires my participation. Just saying hi? That's fine.
Tuesday, 21 June 2011
I Can Do Anything Better Than You
NO YOU CAN'T! YES I CAN!! This video just made me smile haha. The acting, especially of the woman is pretty awesome. Unfortunately embedding has been disabled for that video or I would have put it on the page.
"Nice vid, but what's the point?" you very well may ask. Well, "I can do anything better than you," has stricken me as the appropriate attitude for the majority of the YouTube idiots these days. Don't read that as "YouTube idiots" but as "YouTube's idiots." I'm not calling YouTube people all idiots but rather targeting the group within YouTube which can suitably be called... idiots.
This topic stems mostly from the problem that I've been having with the Fallout 3 LP but other LPs, both mine and others', as well. There always has to be that stupid person who HAS to point out everything you did wrong and tell you just how it should be done and/or how they did the deed with so much more prowess than you. To you I say, good job. Good job. You're better than me at this game. Great gods all mighty, good job. Now take your harping ass and get the fuck out of here.
My LPs are (so far) blind. That means that I can miss stuff, that means I can get lost, that means that I will not pull off everything in the game to utmost perfection. If that is SUCH a huge deal to you then respectfully get the fuck out and don't come back. Now, there may be some people who will tell me these people were merely just trying to help (probably because what I complain of hits a bit close to what they themselves do, which is give advice on how to best play the game at every opportunity). Let me point out however that there is a huge difference between the person who tells me how much I suck at a game and the person who tells me a bit more about how the game works. Sometimes I get pissed at both but the latter is acceptable.
The line between the two sometimes gets a little hazy though which is probably why the formerly mentioned latter would defend themselves against my railings here. But I'm getting really really tired of people pointing out things that I do "wrong." And sometimes, looking in retrospect, I will agree with them that I did something or other "wrong." My problem is that they feel such a need to point it out... even when I put text on the screen clearly aimed at telling them that I am aware of the error.
Such as in my recent Fallout 3 video where I completely miss the entrance to Rivet City (being that you have to speak into an intercom) and since these videos go up far after being recorded of course I know already where the entrance is. However, in the video I get a little off track and start doing other things which leads to me finding Rivet City's entrance in the next video. So being aware that people may be compelled to throw tomatoes with the sticky-note "you speak to the intercom, you idiot" attached to it, I added a text box on the screen (not annotation so annotations being turned off couldn't even be an issue) clearly stating that I know now where the intercom is and that the rest of the video is wandering around and that NEXT video I will have discovered it. But noooo, I STILL get stupid comments and messages telling me about how to get in. Really? You MISSED it? The text took up 3/4 of the screen and was displayed VERY shortly after me being all confused about how to get in. Really? Either 1) you're really stupid or 2) you felt so compelled to prove your knowledge of the game that the MOMENT that you saw me falter you had to pause the video and post a comment.
And THAT is where today's blog title comes from. I feel like people tell me a lot of the tips because they feel this need to show how much they know about the game. How much better they are at it. Now before I get carried away in rage, let me add that this does not include people who sincerely were trying to help by offering tips with something I was REALLY struggling with or something that I asked a question about. Obviously I wanted or needed help there and whatever, I'm fine with that. But when it's CLEAR that I've figured it out, when it's CLEAR that I'm getting by just fucking FINE thank you by myself... in THAT case, I really really really fucking hate people who point out shit to me.
Sometimes well-intentioned people annoy me as well. That just can't be helped. Sometimes they think I need help with something and I disagree. Sometimes they think I haven't figured it out yet and I already have. Shit like that will happen. Fine. I'll still be annoyed but I won't hate the person for it. But those god damned know-it-alls who just feel the need to let everyone know how great they are at a game. Good job. You'll get far in life.
"Nice vid, but what's the point?" you very well may ask. Well, "I can do anything better than you," has stricken me as the appropriate attitude for the majority of the YouTube idiots these days. Don't read that as "YouTube idiots" but as "YouTube's idiots." I'm not calling YouTube people all idiots but rather targeting the group within YouTube which can suitably be called... idiots.
This topic stems mostly from the problem that I've been having with the Fallout 3 LP but other LPs, both mine and others', as well. There always has to be that stupid person who HAS to point out everything you did wrong and tell you just how it should be done and/or how they did the deed with so much more prowess than you. To you I say, good job. Good job. You're better than me at this game. Great gods all mighty, good job. Now take your harping ass and get the fuck out of here.
My LPs are (so far) blind. That means that I can miss stuff, that means I can get lost, that means that I will not pull off everything in the game to utmost perfection. If that is SUCH a huge deal to you then respectfully get the fuck out and don't come back. Now, there may be some people who will tell me these people were merely just trying to help (probably because what I complain of hits a bit close to what they themselves do, which is give advice on how to best play the game at every opportunity). Let me point out however that there is a huge difference between the person who tells me how much I suck at a game and the person who tells me a bit more about how the game works. Sometimes I get pissed at both but the latter is acceptable.
The line between the two sometimes gets a little hazy though which is probably why the formerly mentioned latter would defend themselves against my railings here. But I'm getting really really tired of people pointing out things that I do "wrong." And sometimes, looking in retrospect, I will agree with them that I did something or other "wrong." My problem is that they feel such a need to point it out... even when I put text on the screen clearly aimed at telling them that I am aware of the error.
Such as in my recent Fallout 3 video where I completely miss the entrance to Rivet City (being that you have to speak into an intercom) and since these videos go up far after being recorded of course I know already where the entrance is. However, in the video I get a little off track and start doing other things which leads to me finding Rivet City's entrance in the next video. So being aware that people may be compelled to throw tomatoes with the sticky-note "you speak to the intercom, you idiot" attached to it, I added a text box on the screen (not annotation so annotations being turned off couldn't even be an issue) clearly stating that I know now where the intercom is and that the rest of the video is wandering around and that NEXT video I will have discovered it. But noooo, I STILL get stupid comments and messages telling me about how to get in. Really? You MISSED it? The text took up 3/4 of the screen and was displayed VERY shortly after me being all confused about how to get in. Really? Either 1) you're really stupid or 2) you felt so compelled to prove your knowledge of the game that the MOMENT that you saw me falter you had to pause the video and post a comment.
And THAT is where today's blog title comes from. I feel like people tell me a lot of the tips because they feel this need to show how much they know about the game. How much better they are at it. Now before I get carried away in rage, let me add that this does not include people who sincerely were trying to help by offering tips with something I was REALLY struggling with or something that I asked a question about. Obviously I wanted or needed help there and whatever, I'm fine with that. But when it's CLEAR that I've figured it out, when it's CLEAR that I'm getting by just fucking FINE thank you by myself... in THAT case, I really really really fucking hate people who point out shit to me.
Sometimes well-intentioned people annoy me as well. That just can't be helped. Sometimes they think I need help with something and I disagree. Sometimes they think I haven't figured it out yet and I already have. Shit like that will happen. Fine. I'll still be annoyed but I won't hate the person for it. But those god damned know-it-alls who just feel the need to let everyone know how great they are at a game. Good job. You'll get far in life.
Saturday, 11 June 2011
I Don't Have A Title For This Post.
Been a while, hasn't it? For once this is just going to be an update post not a topic post. Been pretty busy since my last post. I got my university residence application and deposit in. There was some issue and I got stuck in the system regarding the application and since I had to actually submit the application before sending the deposit–and the deposit being due in 7 days–I got a little panicked to say the least. Who knew how long I'd be stuck in the system for? And even just transferring the money. If it so happened that I ended up having to send it right before the weekend, that'd be 5 business days PLUS the weekend that my deposit would have to make it there, making a neat one week time limit in which I could completely miss the deposit deadline. So yes, I was a bit stressed about that. Luckily I got through the system in time and the deposit went through just fine and I made the due date with 4 days to spare.
Then there was the whole thing about planning my trip to Philly. Yes, I am going down there to visit Kevin once again. Have a lot of things to do there. Got that all planned out and okayed with my parents which actually took a lot longer than "since last post." My relationship with my parents is so weird and awkward and it's always a tip toeing affair.
This made some more work for me though: Americans, did you know that your immigrations is so paranoid that a person whose passport is within 6 months of the expiration date may be denied entry into your country? Yeah... Even Canadians, your friendly northern neighbours (actually, we're planning an attack on your government. Be prepared to be liberated and annexed). Well my passport expires this December 20th and the trip is to be July 20 so... yeah. Had to go get my passport renewed. But I was 15 last time I had the passport made and they require you to have been at least 16 the last time you made your passport in order to just renew. So instead of renewing I had to apply for a new one basically. They say it'll be here on July 7th. Let's hope it really makes it here by then (my dad expressed concern that it may be late because Canada Post is on strike... but some of them are still operational so hopefully it'll be alright. Besides, 7th - 20th is a long time).
And then something that's really been keeping me busy but in a good way: Fallout 3. Since I'm leaving for Philly on July 20th and won't be back until August 18th, I'm really starting to worry whether I can get this LP done before I go off to university on September 3rd. I know I still have quite a while left but you guys know my usual speed of playing things. It doesn't help that I seem to be taking forever to do just about anything in that game. I'm recording way ahead of my uploading so while Part 17 is going up right now as I type this, I have up to Part 34 actually processed and ready to upload as well as probably up to around Part 42 that is still in raw unprocessed video form. Yeah, I have THAT many videos recorded but I've still barely made any progress on the main quest of that game. I haven't even gotten to Rivet City yet. I've met Three Dog and I'm currently trying to get the dish for him from the Museum of Technology or whatever it was. Can't believe I have so many videos yet so little done. It's Moira's fault. I keep doing her research quests. Bad Moira! Bad! But that really is what I like about this game I suppose: just having so much to do. People having their individual stories and lives. It's a very interesting game. I really would be 100% in love with it if not for the crazy crashing problems. Anyways, should head off now, it's 2:30 AM! Jeez. Gooooood night.
Then there was the whole thing about planning my trip to Philly. Yes, I am going down there to visit Kevin once again. Have a lot of things to do there. Got that all planned out and okayed with my parents which actually took a lot longer than "since last post." My relationship with my parents is so weird and awkward and it's always a tip toeing affair.
This made some more work for me though: Americans, did you know that your immigrations is so paranoid that a person whose passport is within 6 months of the expiration date may be denied entry into your country? Yeah... Even Canadians, your friendly northern neighbours (actually, we're planning an attack on your government. Be prepared to be liberated and annexed). Well my passport expires this December 20th and the trip is to be July 20 so... yeah. Had to go get my passport renewed. But I was 15 last time I had the passport made and they require you to have been at least 16 the last time you made your passport in order to just renew. So instead of renewing I had to apply for a new one basically. They say it'll be here on July 7th. Let's hope it really makes it here by then (my dad expressed concern that it may be late because Canada Post is on strike... but some of them are still operational so hopefully it'll be alright. Besides, 7th - 20th is a long time).
And then something that's really been keeping me busy but in a good way: Fallout 3. Since I'm leaving for Philly on July 20th and won't be back until August 18th, I'm really starting to worry whether I can get this LP done before I go off to university on September 3rd. I know I still have quite a while left but you guys know my usual speed of playing things. It doesn't help that I seem to be taking forever to do just about anything in that game. I'm recording way ahead of my uploading so while Part 17 is going up right now as I type this, I have up to Part 34 actually processed and ready to upload as well as probably up to around Part 42 that is still in raw unprocessed video form. Yeah, I have THAT many videos recorded but I've still barely made any progress on the main quest of that game. I haven't even gotten to Rivet City yet. I've met Three Dog and I'm currently trying to get the dish for him from the Museum of Technology or whatever it was. Can't believe I have so many videos yet so little done. It's Moira's fault. I keep doing her research quests. Bad Moira! Bad! But that really is what I like about this game I suppose: just having so much to do. People having their individual stories and lives. It's a very interesting game. I really would be 100% in love with it if not for the crazy crashing problems. Anyways, should head off now, it's 2:30 AM! Jeez. Gooooood night.
Friday, 3 June 2011
Are You Happy?
So my mother has recently acquired this CD from a church friend of hers (my mother is the only religious person in my family) which features this Korean priest talking on various subjects. She likes to listen to it in the car so I get to listen to parts of it too whether I like it or not. One particular subject caught my attention. Happiness. But not just happiness, nor happiness for just anyone: happiness for South Koreans.
Now most of my audience probably isn't Korean but what the heck, a little cultural education never hurt anyone. The priest talked about the happiness level of Koreans and how it was ranked the lowest out of the developed countries. I looked it up online and he did, in fact, speak the truth. The OECD as well as Yonsei University (one of the top universities in South Korea) did surveys to find that Koreans were severely unhappy compared to their quality of life. Why? Culture. Stupid culture, perhaps. I always thought so.
So the priest talked about how Koreans ALL strive to get their children into the University of Seoul. Out of all those people, 1% of those people actually get into UoS. That MAY seem like a harshly small number but remember how small a country South Korea is. That means EVERY student in S. Korea has a higher percentage of being able to afford to go to UoS (and because it is Korea's best university, everyone who can WILL go there) unlike a huge country like U.S.A. where some smart people couldn't get to Harvard if they wished simply because of distance, travel costs, and family. Also remember that S. Korean culture is VASTLY different from this here western culture. A lot of people who are average smarts are content with that. They'll just go to an average university and they're perfectly fine with that. That's all they ever really reached for and that's all anyone ever expected them to reach for. In Korea, even if you're stupid as shit you TRY to get into UoS. You study your ass off. Which means that a higher percentage of the Korean population is trying to get into ONE school which inversely means a higher percentage of applications must be turned down.
Now that explaining that number of "1%" is over let's get into the problems this causes. Why did the priest bring this school and its 1% admission rate up in the discussion? Because this is the center focus of it all. Studying. I know, I know. How very typical. Asians. Studying. But I don't think a lot of western people realize how much grief this causes us Asians. I feel like a lot of western people see this as something inherent in all Asians and therefore must be something that comes easy for us. No. It's not. Asians have stupid people just like you westerners. Asians have people who suck at studying, Asians have people who just don't GET IT. But that doesn't change the expectations for anyone. The expectations of greatness, intelligence, high achievement, good job after university is STILL there. no matter who you are.
Most Korean children don't have much of a childhood. They're dropped into the studying pressure environment very early. They study study study. For what? To get into UoS. Their parents apply tons of pressure so that they may some day get into UoS. I bet your idea of studying doesn't even come close to what these kids do day in, day out. When my cousin was 14 he went to school 2 hours early to study there before class. After school he'd quickly grab something to eat from a street food vendor (these people make their living off of busy students) and go straight to tutoring. Afterward, he'd come home for dinner maybe get an hour or so of free time. Then he's out again, off to the library to study there. He comes home after midnight and goes straight to sleep... Then his day starts again, just like the one before. Is it a wonder that these people are unhappy? Where do you even find a moment to even crack a joke in the midst of all that?
Then reality crashes down. Only 1% of students get into UoS. Parents are disappointed in you. You're disappointed in yourself. All that studying you did, all that you've accomplished is nothing in anyone's eyes. You didn't get in. You only get scorn from your parents, nagging from them that you should have studied more. So off you go to the second or third, fourth, maybe fifth choice of university. Now this is where I find it so stupid. In Korea University is a lot easier than high school. Backwards. I know. This ALWAYS infuriated me because in my eyes it was SUCH a waste of your childhood. You're never going to get your childhood back. Yet you spent all that time being so focused on studying. Then when the system finally gives you a bit of a break you now have other things to worry about. Like a job and paying bills, and taking care of yourself.
Now you get into your job and you don't get a break. You can't get sick. You can't take vacations. You can't slack off. Why? Because South Korea is over populated. Also the education rate in Korea is very very high. That means that you are NEVER irreplaceable. In fact there are always a ton of people who are willing to step forward and take your job. If you show your boss that you don't do work as well as some other people do, you're gone. After all, if there's someone who can do the job better at no extra cost... why would anyone keep you? So you work work work your ass off to secure your place. Then beware when you get old. The younger generation is coming in and if you don't have anything to show for your years of experiences, a little youngster is going to take your place.
So you see, Koreans never get a peace of mind. There's always something snapping at their heels. They HAVE to keep moving. Without peace of mind there is no happiness.
Luckily, I escaped this. My parents decided to immigrate to Canada in 1998. At school I was just starting to be treated more and more harshly... then I got on a plane and came here where school was basically colouring and raising butterflies. I still experienced some of pressure, my parents still acting Korean and what not, but the environment was a huge huge difference. I am grateful that I got to experience true childhood and not this madness the Korean children go through.
Now most of my audience probably isn't Korean but what the heck, a little cultural education never hurt anyone. The priest talked about the happiness level of Koreans and how it was ranked the lowest out of the developed countries. I looked it up online and he did, in fact, speak the truth. The OECD as well as Yonsei University (one of the top universities in South Korea) did surveys to find that Koreans were severely unhappy compared to their quality of life. Why? Culture. Stupid culture, perhaps. I always thought so.
So the priest talked about how Koreans ALL strive to get their children into the University of Seoul. Out of all those people, 1% of those people actually get into UoS. That MAY seem like a harshly small number but remember how small a country South Korea is. That means EVERY student in S. Korea has a higher percentage of being able to afford to go to UoS (and because it is Korea's best university, everyone who can WILL go there) unlike a huge country like U.S.A. where some smart people couldn't get to Harvard if they wished simply because of distance, travel costs, and family. Also remember that S. Korean culture is VASTLY different from this here western culture. A lot of people who are average smarts are content with that. They'll just go to an average university and they're perfectly fine with that. That's all they ever really reached for and that's all anyone ever expected them to reach for. In Korea, even if you're stupid as shit you TRY to get into UoS. You study your ass off. Which means that a higher percentage of the Korean population is trying to get into ONE school which inversely means a higher percentage of applications must be turned down.
Now that explaining that number of "1%" is over let's get into the problems this causes. Why did the priest bring this school and its 1% admission rate up in the discussion? Because this is the center focus of it all. Studying. I know, I know. How very typical. Asians. Studying. But I don't think a lot of western people realize how much grief this causes us Asians. I feel like a lot of western people see this as something inherent in all Asians and therefore must be something that comes easy for us. No. It's not. Asians have stupid people just like you westerners. Asians have people who suck at studying, Asians have people who just don't GET IT. But that doesn't change the expectations for anyone. The expectations of greatness, intelligence, high achievement, good job after university is STILL there. no matter who you are.
Most Korean children don't have much of a childhood. They're dropped into the studying pressure environment very early. They study study study. For what? To get into UoS. Their parents apply tons of pressure so that they may some day get into UoS. I bet your idea of studying doesn't even come close to what these kids do day in, day out. When my cousin was 14 he went to school 2 hours early to study there before class. After school he'd quickly grab something to eat from a street food vendor (these people make their living off of busy students) and go straight to tutoring. Afterward, he'd come home for dinner maybe get an hour or so of free time. Then he's out again, off to the library to study there. He comes home after midnight and goes straight to sleep... Then his day starts again, just like the one before. Is it a wonder that these people are unhappy? Where do you even find a moment to even crack a joke in the midst of all that?
Then reality crashes down. Only 1% of students get into UoS. Parents are disappointed in you. You're disappointed in yourself. All that studying you did, all that you've accomplished is nothing in anyone's eyes. You didn't get in. You only get scorn from your parents, nagging from them that you should have studied more. So off you go to the second or third, fourth, maybe fifth choice of university. Now this is where I find it so stupid. In Korea University is a lot easier than high school. Backwards. I know. This ALWAYS infuriated me because in my eyes it was SUCH a waste of your childhood. You're never going to get your childhood back. Yet you spent all that time being so focused on studying. Then when the system finally gives you a bit of a break you now have other things to worry about. Like a job and paying bills, and taking care of yourself.
Now you get into your job and you don't get a break. You can't get sick. You can't take vacations. You can't slack off. Why? Because South Korea is over populated. Also the education rate in Korea is very very high. That means that you are NEVER irreplaceable. In fact there are always a ton of people who are willing to step forward and take your job. If you show your boss that you don't do work as well as some other people do, you're gone. After all, if there's someone who can do the job better at no extra cost... why would anyone keep you? So you work work work your ass off to secure your place. Then beware when you get old. The younger generation is coming in and if you don't have anything to show for your years of experiences, a little youngster is going to take your place.
So you see, Koreans never get a peace of mind. There's always something snapping at their heels. They HAVE to keep moving. Without peace of mind there is no happiness.
Luckily, I escaped this. My parents decided to immigrate to Canada in 1998. At school I was just starting to be treated more and more harshly... then I got on a plane and came here where school was basically colouring and raising butterflies. I still experienced some of pressure, my parents still acting Korean and what not, but the environment was a huge huge difference. I am grateful that I got to experience true childhood and not this madness the Korean children go through.
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